Self-Disclosure and Gender Roles in Relationships

            Self-disclosure is talking to someone else about things that are important to you. Small talk can be an important part of communication, but quality conversations about our hopes and dreams are extremely important in relationships. In order to have a long-lasting, happy and healthy relationship, both parties need to be willing and able to communicate their own self-disclosure, as well as listen to and comprehend their partners.

 

            People are constantly changing and without continuous quality conversations, the couple could easily drift apart. As Schoenberg states “romantic relationships begin with a lot of sharing and excitement” (2011), as the years go by, the sharing and excitement can be forgotten or ignored and
relationships can fall apart because of it.

            There are many gender differences in communication; men and women communicate and interpret in different ways. In regards to showing your partner that you appreciate them, Terri Orbuch says “men tend to favor gestures of affirmation over words . . . [and] women tend to go with verbal affirmation” (as cited in Schoenberg, 2011). This could cause problems or confusion if one partner is showing appreciation in the way they would like to receive it instead of the way the other would rather receive it. A similarity between the genders is that both partners need to be shown appreciation and feel that they are needed and wanted.

            One generalization about gender roles in communication has been around for a very long time. Professor Shane Engle touched on the topic in his classroom guidance by saying “most males have a more difficult time with [emotional expressiveness], because men are taught to hide their feelings” (2011). 

            To summarize, self-disclosure plays a very important role in communication between couples. It can help a relationship to last many years or it can cause a relationship to fail. Orbuch has great advice to try and put aside 10 minutes a day for quality conversation (Schoenberg, 2011); this is a great exercise that can help make quality conversation a routine part of your day. It is important to share the things that are important to you with your partner, and it is just as important to listen and understand the wants and needs or your partner as well.

 References

Engle, S. (2011, December). Instructor Guidance [Online forum message]. Retrieved from COM200: Interpersonal Communication: http://classroom.ashford.edu/re/DotNextLaunch.asp?courseid=6195913&userid=8263646&sessionid=73b12c777c&tabid=WDbjr236MDzW1qc+trhc83qEW8I9NRoPzjVzqhBl7RKcw4rhCTQ3oQCHhkE7GYpB9+TJK7UvgM+g6Jf5LlNOjg==&sessionFirstAuthStore=true&macid=CIvDj05C+YOMDoBnWoz0swdTCANK99r5XcOps69aCMEw6ZCuUHzx1NsRA+MtFPJV8nicLty/6tZjgi8P14n9Z4jIKB7YmFJs3qPeYiyEoY6YverbgI98aNiYbIeJJgfZR/EgkHxNXjFvWo25lwqympiAhCrhqcFaJGyCnHEfAf3hO/Ac68VPfMp1EMkbi3z8IdfU/RFW+STWhzwkVaao2bmOjA7YqMYa5fRHWvKuZc+VzObwThz2cGQxOGSe5mev

Schoenberg, N. (2011, February 6). Can we talk? Researcher talks about the role of communication in marriages. Houston Chronicle. Retrieved from ProQuest Newsstand. Document ID: 2260839481